Raymond Courcy

    I can honestly remember my grandpa’s death like it was yesterday. It started back in October of 2009 when my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. I can still hear my mom’s voice on the phone when she told me. I broke down and couldn’t stop crying for a good hour straight. Knowing that someone I loved with every piece of heart was going to leave my life forever devastated me. “O Lord, grant each his own, his death indeed, the dying which out of that same life evolves in which he once had meaning, love, and need” ( Enright, 1992). I think this quote says a lot about how people feel about death. For instance, when I first read this quote I automatically though of my grandpa. I thought of how he was the “king” of our family and how truly heartbreaking it was going to be to let him go.
    Four months after my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer he had a stroke and was hospitalized in Stoughton. I remember going to see him for the first time since he had been in the hospital. I can still vividly remember walking down the long hallways and the distinct hospital smell. I remember entering his room and seeing him lying there helpless, connected to tons of wires and tubes. It was so weird to see him in such a state because he was such a strong man. It broke my heart. I visited him everyday for the next month that he was in that hospital.
    On March 25, 2009 Raymond Courcy passed away. That day plays over and over in my mind. I came home from work and my mom was supposed to be at work and I saw her car in the driveway and immediately knew something was wrong.  I proceeded into the house to find her crying on the phone. She hung up and told me the devastating news. I again, broke down. My mother and I waited for my sister and father to get home then went to the hospital where we met the rest of my family. There was my grandpa lifeless on the hospital bed. My family and I gathered around him  as my grandma said the rosary. “How we perceive death affects the way we live, how we live affects the way we die, and how we die gives new meaning to the way others can live” (Kramer, 1988).
    “Religious traditions ritualize the death process to remind us of the impermanence of life, and that whatever lies on the other side of death is as real, if not infinitely more so, than life itself” (Kramer, 1988). My grandpa’s funeral was the absolute hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. Seeing my grandma and all of my family members sobbing nonstop was really difficult for me. I remember sitting in the dimly lit room watching everyone wait in line to pay their respects to my grandpa and my family. I cried the entire four hours the wake went on. I also remember a nun I had in pre-school come up to me and tell me how much of an amazing person my grandpa was and how greatly he would be missed. Hearing sister Betty say that made me feel ok for a brief moment.  After all the visitors left I went up to my grandpa’s casket and just knelt there, staring at him. I would of stayed there all night if my father had not of come and got me.
    The next day was the funeral. It was a cold, rainy, and windy March day. For some reason I feel like every funeral I’ve been to has had weather like that. I can picture in my head standing at the cemetery underneath a tent like set up, trying not to cry too loud as the priest spoke. I distinctly remember one of my grandpa’s friends saying that “they will play cards when he gets to heaven with him.” For some strange reason that comforted me.
    As the bagpipes played and all my family just stared at my grandpa’s coffin, I felt the most alone I ever have in my life. The love and respect I had for my grandpa was immense. He was an incredible man and will always be remembered that way. As the ceremony came to an end I took a red carnation and walked over to the coffin and gently placed it on top and told my grandpa how much I truly adored him.
    There is no doubt in my mind that my grandpa is in heaven. He is with God and the angels and everyone from his past that he has loved and cherished. I still talk to my grandpa many days. I tell him how my day was and what is happening with our family, and how much I miss him. I tell him how much I miss him kissing my cheek and me feeling his stubble scratch my face. I will never forget the life lessons my grandpa taught me or the many, many fun times we shared. Rest in peace Raymond Courcy.

References:
Enright, D.J. , (1992). The Oxford Book of Death. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
Kramer, K. , (1988). The Sacred Art of Dying: How World Religions Understand Death. New Jersey: Paulist Press.

The rough is only mental

       I chose to do my review on the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. To me this is one of the most powerful and helpful books I have ever read. Norman Vincent Peale stated that he “wrote this book with the sole objective of helping the reader achieve a happy, satisfying, and worthwhile life.” The Power of Positive Thinking suggests techniques that help you achieve peace of mind, improved health, and a never ending flow of energy. One of the first sentences in the book reads “Altogether too many people are defeated by the everyday problems of life. They go struggling, perhaps even whining through their days with a sense of dull resentment at what they consider the bad breaks life has given them.” Before reading this book I went through my day feeling the same way. The Power of Positive Thinking has changed my whole outlook on life. I now know how to handle situations that come my way without going off the handle or thinking “poor me.”
       The first chapter of the book is titled Believe in Yourself. To me this is one of the most important chapters in the whole book. “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” That is what the chapter is about. Believing in yourself and having faith in your own abilities is so very important in life. In order to take control of how you want your life to be you must first believe in yourself.
       The Power of Positive Thinking takes the Bible and verses from the Bible and helps people apply it to their everyday lives. When it comes down to it faith is number one in life. “I can do all things thorough Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13).This affirmation is talked about a lot throughout the book. There are different stories throughout the book where Norman Vincent Peale tells many people to repeat this verse multiple times a day, and guaranteed them it would get them through anything they were faced with. I myself took his advice and still to this day repeat that verse many, many times a day. No matter what I’m faced with I know that I can get through it because I truly  believe  in what I am saying.
       A peaceful Mind Generates Power is the second chapter of The Power of Positive Thinking. This is also a very important chapter in the book. “The essence of the secret lies in a change of mental attitude. One must learn to live on a different thought basis, and even though thought change requires effort, it is much easier than to continue living as you are. The life of strain is difficult. The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence. The chief struggle in gaining mental peace is the effort or revamping your thinking to the relaxed attitude of acceptance of God’s gift of peace” ( Peale, 2003). I read this and think to myself how true it is. At first when I started to change my though process from negative to positive, it was tough. I had to stop before I reacted to something and think do I really want to react this way? Do I want to get mad over small insignificant things that mean nothing when you break it down? I still catch myself slipping at times but right away snap out of it.
       This book really changed my life. I wouldn’t say I was extremely negative but negative enough for me to change. I now read the Bible everyday as the book states and that is the main thing that helps me through my day. I repeat in my head different Bible verses for different situations I go through in my day to day life. Putting God first in my life has really helped me. I now can be put in any and every situation and get through it peacefully. I have such a different outlook on life after reading this book. I love my life and I can honestly say that I owe a big part of that to The Power of Positive Thinking.


Reference:

Peale, N. (2003).  The Power of Positive Thinking. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Being in the Zone-The Flow Experience

What struck me most during this weeks reading was the “flow experience.” The book Success Built To Last talked about an experiment conducted by a research team from the University of Chicago. The experiment consisted of a diverse group of people from all around the world wearing beepers. “The group included farmers, scientists, educators, entrepreneurs, artists, priests, nuns, and government officials” (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007).  When those involved in the experiment were paged at random they were asked to write in a journal about what they were doing, and the quality of their experience at the time. “From compilations of journal entries gathered from all of the participants, patterns emerged yielding the principles of what was called the flow experience. When you are deeply immersed in the process of doing whatever you are doing, and completely lose track of time and place, you are in a flow experience” (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007). I find the “flow experience” to be so important when doing what you love. “Doing what you love attracts you even when you’re too tired to do anything else” (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007).  I personally feel like mostly everyday I am at work I end up in the flow experience. I love my job and the majority of the time I lose track of the time and even sometimes where I am!
I think it is so very important to love what you do in life. “If you want to have success that outlasts any job you have, then only love will find the way” (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007). This quote is so true in life.  The book goes on to say “be warned: the relentless irritation of not loving what you do makes you a pain to be around and has been clinically proven to chip away at your health.” I used to work at a call center, and it was the worst job of my life. My entire shifts consisted of sitting in a tiny cubicle, having angry customers calling and complaining about the most miniscule things. For example one customer wanted the waters to be left on the second step but the driver put them on the porch so it would be easier to get them inside. This customer was irate over such a small thing, which in the long run benefited her. Needless to say I didn’t last long at that job.
In today’s society people do what they thinks others want from them instead of what they really love. The book says that your job should seduce you to the point where you lose interest in everything else to an extent that you become socially inept around the people who couldn’t care less about whatever it is. Loving what you do should be on the top of your list. I remember during last weeks reading the book talked about loving what you do to the point where you do not consider it work or a job. I am so grateful to love what I do which is helping others.




References:
Porras, J. , Emery, S. & Thompson, M. (2007). Success Built To Last: Creating A Life That Matters. New York: Penguin Group.

Mandela Effect

     After reading the introduction and first chapter of Success Built To Last I began to mull over in my head many topics that were discussed in the book. One topic stuck with me and that was the "Mandela Effect." The book states the Mandela Effect as "creating and enduring success not because you are perfect or lucky but because you have the courage to do what matters to you" (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007). I think that this is so true in life. If we are afraid to do something that we feel strongly about because we don't want to fail or don't want to be judged by others, what kind of lives are we living?
     There is a culturally promoted definition of success which includes wealth, fame, power, and public acceptance as well as a personal definition of success. The book defines success as "a life that brings personal fulfillment and lasting relationships and makes a difference in the world in which you live." If you live you life by trying to please others and do what you think others expect of you, then you are not living life to the fullest.
     The book states that there are three essential elements of Success Built To Last. The first being meaning, in other words what matters most to you as an individual. "Something you are so passionate about that you lose all track of time when doing it" (Porras, Emery, & Thompson, 2007). The second essential element for success is ThoughtStyle which is as the book states a highly developed sense of accountability, audacity, passion, and responsible optimism. The last element of success is ActionStyle. ActionStyle is the ability to turn meaning, thought, and passion into action.
    A good recipe for success includes individually defined meaning, creative ThoughtStyle, and effective ActionStyle. Everyone has their own definition of success; their own vision of how they want their lives to turn out. The book states that the quality of loving the work we do is on of the most important values that we can bring to people. I strongly agree with that statement. I see success as the book describes it. Loving what I do with my life and my job. For example, working in the human services field because I love it, even though it is not a high paying field. I think happiness is most important in life and everything else will fall into place once you are truly happy.



References:
Porras, J. , Emery, S. & Thompson, M. (2007). Success Built To Last: Creating A Life That Matters. New York: Penguin Group.